worst date stories...
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^^^ Started out good.. then

Real talk.

Sounds difficult to live with & dangerous if you'll resort to anything or anyone.
Its good your open & honest about it.

i have another one.

back along time ago:
i was trying to get on this one girl. and we was messing around in the back seat of my car.
then she she wanted to play truth or dare...

i took the dare. an she wanted me to run naked down to the end of the street...

so there i was running down the street naked in boots, then i turned around at the end
an started running even faster on the way back. i was running so fast, i started thinking i was Mr. Miyagi...

i got this idea i was gonna run an jump over the car, like in the karate kid..

i took that firststep, and kicked the grill of my car with my heavy boot,
slammed down on the hood and hit my face against the windshield spidering the glass.
when i finally realized i was laying on the hood of my car stark naked with my face in the windshield.i slowly pulled my head away from the windshield.
with not a scratch.
Good Times!

Hahaha

thats next years trend

too easy miss

wow. i think i know that girl!!

J - that geo storm gave me one of the best laughs i've had in a long time. you're king of timing.

i think unsoundbwoy's got me beat, but...

Hard as it may be to believe, once upon a time I was a clueless dork. One that could give Rico Guacamole a run for his pesos any day, but clueless nonetheless. After some gorgeous evil bitch took me for most of my savings then stomped my heart in (& coincidentally later died in a car crash), I turned to the internet for love advances even a guileless jellyfish can perform. I couldn't ask a girl out in person but I could make a 13 year old pretending to be 17 pine after me quicker than Pepe Le Pew on a she-skunk blow up doll. That's a terrible metaphor & I feel more ashamed  writing that than the rest of the story, but anyways...this was during the infancy stages of internet dating, & due to a soul lamenting for love, & a desire to keep my head as far out of reality's ass as possible, I began chatting with a likeable gal on aol & accepted everything this sweet young thang told me as the gospel truth. Supposedly she was 17, blond, trim as a tiger, innocent as a quaker, had yet to give up her holy starfruit & had eyes only for me. Talk about naivety. She never offered to show me her picture, & being a polite young gentlemen of the south, I never asked. Soon we were talking 10-12 hours per day & could no longer resist the reckless urging of our hearts to come together, so we made plans to meet (ugh this is getting worse as i write). I drive from Florida to Oregon to see her, driving 18 hours a day, sleeping in my truck, spend $400 on a ring, $30 on a bouquet of flowers, & with a quickening heartbeat approach the grocery store where we're supposed to finally commence our lifelong love affair. Off to the right stands a group of 7-8 girls, roughly in the right age range, a couple decent looking, chatting obnoxiously as only teenage girls can, & off to the left a chubster sitting at a picnic table with one other girl, one of whom was presumably 'her' & the other the cousin she was bringing along in case I was some pedo-psycho. Lo & behold she looks up with guilt plastered into her every feature & says hi, I'm so & so, red haired, no older than 13, much too large for her britches & oozing just about everything that could go wrong with the situation. Needless to say I drove her home & like a true chickenshit said sure when she asked me to come by her house later that night. Even gave her the flowers. At least I had the dignity to keep the ring.

Truth be told, it wasn't all that bad, she was pretty tight & didn't bleed much for her first time, just kidding. Luckily the group of girls had to find out what was going on & I ended up shacking up with one of them for two weeks, going cliff diving, smoking some of the best herb I'd ever seen with one of the local retards & touring the beauty that is the pacific northwest.

DAYS later?

Just walk quickly in the opposite direction...breaking into a gentle sprint...  & if anyone speaks to you- continue running saying over your shoulder  'sorry I dont speak english'

...i got one...

.dating this female who liked it ruffffffff... being retarded and still taking benzodiazapines i get at it...
at around 4hrs of slamfucking my junk starts hurting ridiculously... being completely trashed i fall asleep... wake up next day...proceed to have smoke in my boxers, and notice my balls are blue/purple/green.    once i was done screaming we proceed to the hospital.  i tell the nurse once admitted what i was suffering from... she says bust em out, i do... she says hold on,  and then proceeds to get all the female nurses to witness my boys in their blueish glory.  they witness and about 20 nurses later send me a female doctor who begins to tell me not to let her squeeze my goodies...after explaining my old lady is a s&m sex fiend and that nothing except hard sex went on she sends me to get an ultrasound...  still having a tiny bit of pride im wheeled to a room where a 60+ year old african woman has the unfortunate task of spraying goo on my blues and ultrasounding them whilst shaking her head and saying "oughta be shamed o yo self, boy u oughtta be SHAMED o yoself"...what was even worse is that she propped them up with towels as if the thought of touching them with gloves on was still too bad

tru3 story.

Last edited by aden (2008-07-01 01:33:38 am)