Jokes
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What do you call a gay Irishman? 

A pat on the back!

Way back in the time of the samurai, there was a powerful emperor. This emperor needed a new head samurai. So, he sent out a message to everybody he knew for them to send a message to who they knew, and so forth.

A year passes, and only three people show up: a Japanese samurai, a Chinese samurai, and a Jewish samurai. The emperor asks the Japanese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai.
The Japanese samurai opens up a matchbox, and out pops a little fly. WHOOOOOSH. The fly drops dead on the ground in 2 pieces! The emperor says, "That is very impressive!"

Then the emperor asks the Chinese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai. The Chinese samurai opens up a matchbox and out pops a little fly. WHOOOOOOSH. WOOOOOOOSH. The fly drops dead on the ground in 4 pieces! The emperor says, "That is really impressive!"

Then the emperor asks the Jewish samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai. The Jewish samurai thinks, "If it works for the other two..."
So the Jewish samurai walks in, opens a matchbox, and out pops a little fly. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSHHHH. A gust of wind fills the room, but the fly is still buzzing around. The emperor says in disappointment, "Why is the fly not dead?"

And the Jewish samurai replies, "If you look closely, you'll see that the fly has been circumcised."

so lil jhonny walks in on his sister in the shower.....starts screamin and runs to his dad

johhnny : "daddy daddy i seen sis in the shower...but she doesnt have a penis"

dad : "oh son girs have beavers...not penis`s"

so johnnny`s grandmother is in town and she decides from such a long trip shes goin to have a nice hot bath

as shes getting in johnny happens to walk in on his grandma naked...

runnnnsss out screaming..OMG OMG OMG....dadddddy!!

dad : "whats wrong johnny"

johnny: "daddy daddy does grandma have a beaver too??"

dad : "well of course son..why do you ask?"

johnny: "cuz i seen it and i think its dead"

dad : "why do you say its dead\ son??"

johnnys : "its tounge is hanging out"

BAHAHAHA

Briss. 

i knew it. pardon my ignorance mr. chosen one sir.

Wanting to watch consenting adults perform for your pleasure isn't sick.

If he would have asked the concierge, "Why can't I fit livestock into the bathtub so that I can shave them before I slaughter and post-mortem bugger them ritualistically?", then he'd be sick.